Am I codependent?

• I am in a significant relationship with someone who is addicted to a substance or behavior, someone who is depressed, or someone who is very needy.

• I have difficulty saying “no” when people ask me to do something, even when I know I should not.

• I feel I need to cover up for irresponsible people in my life because I don’t like to see them in distress. I’d rather “fill in and help them” than see them suffer consequences.

• I believe it is my job to fix, manage, and hold my family and my relationships together.

• I work hard to be thoughtful and nice to others and get angry when they fail to appreciate or reciprocate my efforts.

• I like to be around people that need my help. I feel lost if I don’t have a role or duty to fulfill.

• I worry about how I make people feel. This preoccupation strongly affects my feelings.

• I don’t like being alone. I need to be around others to feel alive.

• I am afraid of people. I need to isolate myself to feel safe.

• I fear being abandoned or rejected and go to great lengths to be liked.

• Other people’s needs always take precedence over my own, even if mine are urgent and theirs are not.

• If something about my life or myself is less than perfect, I see it as a failure and become defensive if others comment on it.

• Deep down inside, I don’t really like myself and don’t want people to know the “real me”.

• I tend to blame and criticize people and circumstances for my feelings.

• I have a hard time leaving relationships, even if they are unhealthy.

• I have a difficult time asking people for help, even when it’s necessary.

• I find it difficult to speak what I truly feel or ask for what I need.

• I like to keep secrets because I fear that if others knew my problems, my image of being the “strong one” would be ruined.

• To avoid guilt and shame, I seldom speak my mind to people who disagree with me.

• I see people and situations as “all good” or “all bad.”

• Though I try to please people, I often feel isolated and alone.

• Because I value the opinions of others over my own, I always worry about their opinion of me.

• I have difficulty talking to people in authority, as I feel inadequate.

• I am confused about who I am or what I want from my life.

• My life has become unmanageable as a result of my dysfunctional and unhealthy relationship.

Reach outto D.J. for expert therapy on codependency.