AM I CO-DEPENDENT? 1. I am in a significant relationship with someone who is addicted to a substance or behavior, someone who is depressed, or someone who is very needy. 2. I have difficulty saying “no” when people ask me to do something, even when I know I should not do it. 3. I feel I need to cover up for irresponsible people in my life because I don’t like to see them in distress. I’d rather “fill in and help them” than see them suffer consequences. 4. I believe it is my job to fix, manage and hold my family and my relationships together. 5. I work hard to be thoughtful and nice to others and get angry when they fail to appreciate or reciprocate my efforts. 6. I like to be around people that need my help. I feel lost if I don’t have a role or duty to fulfill. 7. I worry about how I make people feel. This preoccupation strongly affects my own feelings. 8. I don’t like being alone. I need to be around others in order to feel alive. 9. I am afraid of people. I need to isolate in order to feel safe. 10. I fear being abandoned or rejected, and I go to great lengths to be liked. 11. I believe being “good to myself” is equivalent to selfishness. 12. Other people’s needs always take precedence over my own, even if mine are urgent and theirs are not. 13. If something about my life or myself is less than perfect, I see it as a failure and become defensive if others comment on it. 14. Deep down inside, I don’t really like myself and don’t want people to know the “real me”. 15. I tend to blame and criticize people and circumstances for my feelings. 16. I have a hard time leaving relationships, even if they are unhealthy. 17. I have a difficult time asking people for help, even when it’s necessary. 18. I find it difficult to speak what I truly feel or ask for what I need. 19. I like to keep secrets, because I fear that if others knew my problems, my image of being the “strong one” would be ruined. 20. To avoid feeling guilt and shame, I seldom speak my mind to people who disagree with me. 21. I tend to see people and situations as “all good” or “all bad.” 22. Though I try to please people, I often feel isolated and alone. 23. Because I value the opinions of others over my own, I always worry about their opinion of me. 24. I have difficulty talking to people in authority, as I feel inadequate. 25. I am confused about who I am or what I want from my life. 26. My life has become unmanageable as a result of my dysfunctional and unhealthy relationships.
Notice: Please note that answering yes to the majority of these questions should not be taken as a final determination in establishing that you have a problem with codependency. This questionnaire is merely a guide to help raise awareness on whether you are affected by this condition. The questions have no clinical backup and should be not be relied upon as a substitute for professional diagnosis. -Information adapted from Hamrah.co with permission
If you are in crisis, please call the Crisis Connections line at 866-427-4747. If this is a medical emergency call 911 immediately or go to the nearest hospital Emergency Room.